What a privilege it is to take a moment to sit down, reflect, and remember our daughter's birth.
For me, it was an emotional and spiritual experience I will always treasure; for what could be more miraculous and amazing than giving birth to your own child?
I recognize my blessings are great. I felt extremely blessed to have tremendous support at the time of Loren's arrival. Chief among those blessings was my mother coming into town. Her help was tremendous! I am positive she gave no thought towards herself for the entire time she was with us. Her thoughts were constantly geared towards helping our family and improving our home. We were well taken care of, and so very grateful to her for being with us. The beginning of December is not a convenient time to travel or to be away from home, and so we truly express our deepest appreciation to her for her time, kindness, sacrifice, and service.
The kids were elated to see their grammy Sharron! I know Justin was excited for a few (very overdue) home cooked meals, and I was longing for her company and companionship. I needed her every minute she was here.
I had anxiety when it came to labor and delivery, and so in the days and weeks before Loren's arrival I tried to surround myself with positive help and support. With help from one of my dearest friends I was able to qualify for a doula to support me through my pre and post labor needs. I invited mom to be a part of the delivery, and I was grateful she was here in time to join Justin and I in this miracle. Before delivering, Justin was able to give me a special priesthood blessing which came with the promise that I would have a good experience. In this blessing I was also told I would need courage, strength, and patience, and then blessed to have all three. I prayed to focus on positive things I had control over, and for increased faith in situations beyond my control.
As well as physically, I tried to prepare spiritually for the coming events. I looked very much forward to welcoming this sweet daughter in my arms, and recognized what a tremendous blessing it is to once again become a mother. The week before the baby arrived was the ultimate waiting game. She was constantly on my mind. As we waited for her, I tried to imagine the place she was preparing to leave, and I knew her faith must be so great as she accepted her calling to come to earth at this time. I wondered what she would think of me as she looked upon the mother she was being sent to, and I prayed to be worthy of her.
We spent our days at home the week Loren was due. Scotlin ran around entertaining us, as I labored for many days... grateful to have mom by my side. I knew I was probably the most unpleasant person to be around as I had physically and mentally hit a wall with this pregnancy. We wanted Loren to come when she was ready, but our household was more than ready to receive this little one!
I saw the doctor early on a Monday morning. She left me encouraged thinking the baby would come within 24 hours. I had many calls and texts throughout the day from my family back home, and it meant the world to feel the support and love.
The doctor suggested I be as active as possible that day, so mom and I headed out for lunch and a trip to Costco. By the end of our lunch my contractions were much to close together for any comfort and we decided it would be best to return home.
Once we were home we put in a call to the doctor to get her advice. She thought it would be wise to make our way downtown to the hospital.
I called my sweet neighbor Liz across the street, and she immediately dropped everything to come over and be with my kids. Bless her heart.
Mom had watched me labor like this for days and admitted she was starting to panic.
I tried to stay as calm as I could knowing this is exactly what my body was supposed to be doing, but it only took one contraction, nearly dropping me to my knees to know that finally, the time had come! I am so thankful mom was here. She gathered my bags, packed up the car, and we were on our way.
Justin was at school during this time taking a final exam. Because cell phones are not allowed during exams, he had given his to a professor, explained our situation, and asked if she would come and get him if it rang. Once mom and I arrived at the hospital I gave Justin a call to let him know we were there (literally, and thankfully right across the street from the dental school.)
As soon as he finished his test he was able to walk over to meet us, and I was so glad once he was finally there, feeling that now the show can begin!
At the hospital I had been seen, and told not to go home, but to wait for my doctor. Mom and I sat in the lobby and slowly walked the hospital halls while labor progressed. I knew people were staring at me, and I can only imagine what I looked like! Mom was so kind and calming as she patiently labored by my side, no doubt feeling all the pain right along with me.
Contractions were every 2 minutes at this point, very strong, and exhausting to breath through. Every so often they would cluster on top of one another becoming unbearable, and leaving me only to sob. I prayed between the brief breaks for the strength and courage promised me in the blessings I had received. After a few hours the doctor rang my cell phone and called us back upstairs to the delivery floor.
Dr. Robinson came in full of jokes. All of us were happy at this special occasion for which we were together.
She could see that I was struggling by now and doing all I could to breath through the pain. I was finally admitted and in time given a room to settle into.
There were two very intense moments in the hospital that I will never forget. The first came during the epidural, and the second was the literal moment Loren joined our family. Both were incredible, full of sacrifice and love. By the time the epidural arrived I was so ready and full of thanks to receive it! The contractions were simply almost more than I could bare. It is an amazing drug that has the power to take such immense pain away. As the anesthesiologist went about her task I was told to hold as still as possible. Justin held my arms, and my head was down. The room started to swarm with hospital staff, and with anxiety returning, my head began to swirl around with the room. I tried to dig deep inside to find a place I could focus on to breath through the pain.
An image of the Savior immediately came to my mind and all around me his comforting arms stretched. I felt and knew he had suffered these pains, even labor. I knew He felt and understood my every fear, and even though I was anxious, exhausted, and scared His peace and love was burning in my heart.
I was so overcome by the spirit in this moment I couldn't get the tears to stop rolling down my face.
(this sweet nurse kept wiping my eyes and nose for me. Bless her little heart. :)
I am sure my doula (Jessica) was surprised to receive the phone call letting her know I had already been admitted to the hospital. Traditionally, doulas are called the moment labor starts, but I knew I would call Jessica when I needed her. My mom was the greatest support during those long laboring hours, and she was all I needed at that time. However, as soon as I started feeling anxious at the hospital I knew it was time to call Jessica in. This was when her additional support was needed the most. Jessica came immediately. She came right to my side and never left from that place. She stayed there holding my hand. Her presence was extremely calming. I felt very blessed to have her as my doula, and also as my friend. It was as if my own little guardian angel had come and descended right there by my side. I wouldn't have wanted it to be anyone else but her. She was amazing.
Jessica knew my birth plan, and was my advocate and my voice. She helped me keep my focus, and kept encouraging me to the end.
The final moments of Loren's birth were extremely intense. Everyone I needed and wanted was there. Justin, Mom, Jessica and Dr. Robinson. It was hard not to focus on anything but the pain at this point, and just about every drop of energy I had to give had been given.
It's amazing what happens in those moments when you completely sacrifice all that you have for your family. All that is left is the burning desire and seed of faith within your heart, waiting and praying for this tiny miracle.
At 9:13 that evening our little Canadian Princess, Loren Elaine was born.
In that instant she filled a place in our family, and in our hearts, only her perfect little spirit and body can fill. Every ounce of my soul exploded with love for this precious daughter. I sobbed with absolute joy and gratitude as they placed her on my chest and I held her in my arms for the first time.
Little Loren Elaine Madsen
6 lbs. 15 oz. 19 3/4 inches
December 10th, 2012
9:13 pm
IWK Hospital
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Right away Justin and I loved and adored all over this new little beauty. We both instantly thought she looked like her older sister Miley J.
I couldn't be more grateful for Justin. If there is anything I could have Loren know right from her very beginning is how blessed she is to have the father she does. Her life will forever be blessed because of him. I would also have her know that I love him with all my heart. Together, we feel so blessed to receive this healthy baby girl.
The timing of Loren's arrival was pretty perfect. I was so glad mom was able to be a part of her birth. It meant the world to me to have her there welcoming her 10th grandchild.
We thought it was sweet how much we had in common at this time in our lives. Mom was 27, having me, her third child (although she really had 5),
and Loren is my third, a daughter, at 27 years old as well.
I know mom labored every breath, every pain, and every push right with me. I was so grateful for her empathy and compassion.
Both Justin and I literally could not have done this day or the week that followed without mom here.
Mothers are amazing, and my mother the most among them!
My doula, Jessica, was a very special part of this day as well. She will always stand out in my mind as an angel for me and our family at this time. Justin was having a hard time deciding what to do the night Loren was born... He had exams all week, and didn't know if he should sleep at the hospital and postpone the exams until January, or if he should just go home, and continue on with his exam schedule for that week. Together we decided not to let all of his studying and preparation go to waste. We also thought it was best to get these exams out of the way, so we sent him home to rest and return to school early the next day. I know the only way Justin felt somewhat okay with this plan was because Jessica had volunteered to stay with me through the night. It was because she insisted, that Justin was able to leave the hospital knowing I was taken care of and in good hands.
Jessica stayed that first night with me. I absolutely have no clue what I would have done without her. And don't know why I ever thought I could do it alone.
?????!!!????
Staying the night at the hospital, away from a family of her own, was not a part of her job description. She stayed out of the pure goodness of her heart, and provided a great service to me that night. Couldn't have done it without her.
We feel blessed to have baby Loren here in our arms, and are so very grateful for her happy and safe arrival. We can't wait to introduce her to her siblings, and begin our journey together as a family.
Welcome Baby Loren!
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