Special Delivery

When we moved to Halifax I had a feeling I needed to start developing a whole new level of courage to prepare myself for Scotlin's birth. Nothing, however, could have prepared me for what I went through to bring this little guy into the world.

It's incredible how Scotlin's labor and delivery was the most complicated, painful, and traumatic experience, and then in an instant it became the most miraculous and powerful blessing of my life.

The experience was overwhelming in so many ways. We found out Scotlin was posterior, and after laboring for many long hours it became clear he was not going to be able to turn. There was not many options for us at that point and we ended up having to take a trip to the operating room. I was terrified. The entire ordeal was intense, and insanely painful in every way there is much of it I'd rather not think about. My body has been left broken and bruised, and I have endured more than I ever imagined possible. I am sure I will get over it soon, but right now I am haunted by the memories.

In the same breath, I felt the added courage needed at that time, and I knew it came from my Father in Heaven. I was blessed to have a terrific nurse and doctor who were helpful, patient and encouraging to me at the times I needed it most. Having Justin by my side was another reminder of how enormously blessed I am to have him as my spouse. His strength and faith is what pulled me through. It was only after he laid his hands on my head and gave me a priesthood blessing that Scotlin turned just enough for me to deliver without a c-section.

It was a miracle.

The very instant Scotlin arrived every ounce of my body rejoiced with gratitude, and my heart filled with unconditional love. When I held my newborn son in my arms it no longer mattered what I had gone through. It no longer mattered what I had to endure, or the pain I had to bare. He is worth all that my body can give. He is beautiful, and perfect.

We are still marveling over the miracle that was his birth. We are grateful to Heavenly Father on the deepest level for sending us this sweet angel.

Recovery is slow but steady. My mom is here right now, and I could not be more grateful for her help. It is tremendous. I cry to her everyday, and thank her for being here with me through all of this. Even though the experience has been extremely difficult for me, I have thought many times, even during the very worst moments at the hospital, what am I supposed to be learning from this? How will what I am experiencing help me to be there for someone else? What good can I do from what I am learning? I do know that my knowledge of things spiritual has increased over the past few days. My faith has been strengthened. I have been humbled to the core. And I am eternally grateful for it. Every bit.