Blessed with a Son

Last year. February of 2009. We were on a vacation from our problems in the lovely and gorgeous Island Park celebrating Valentine's day. Our time had been well spent snowmobiling, and enjoying the warm, cozy, cabin with family. The whole time we were there my mind never did leave this strange feeling telling me...

"YOU'RE PREGNANT." 

Miley was 5 months old.

I laughingly told Justin my thoughts. Together we laughed and joked about how funny that would be, but both dismissed it. We just had a baby. There was no way. The feeling stayed though. Persisted. And then grew into a knowledge.

"You. ARE. Pregnant." 

I guess this is where denial stepped in. But, only for a minute, because myself wouldn't let myself not know for sure. Justin suggested I put my mind at ease and take a test. So, first thing, (like 7 am) when we were home from our trip, I was at the grocery store buying a pregnancy test. 

I came home. Took it. Left it alone, and went to do the dishes. I was doing the dishes, but my mind was thinking about the possibility of another child. Another baby. Growing.... already. 

I walked back to the bathroom like I had done it a thousand times. Just acting brave, and ready for whatever that white stick had to tell me about my future. 

I picked it up and looked at it as if it were a crystal ball. Clear as day, written in a typewriter style print...

pregnant

No mistaking it.

I smiled. But not your normal smile. A kind of smile that only nervous excitement can bring. From there I bounced with tigger-like adrenaline to Miley's room. I picked her up, kissed her, and congratulated her. She was going to be a big sister. 

I smiled at her. The excitement at that point, and the way it all felt so unreal made me want to cry, and sing, and laugh, and jump around all at the same time. I had to celebrate with Miley. She was the only one there. She didn't understand, and I didn't care. WE were a family, and now,  growing together. 

I called Justin at work. Smiling our whole conversation, I congratulated him on being a daddy to #2. We laughed. We were giddy. Later that day he came home, and we went out to dinner to celebrate. 

Soon? Yes. But, RIGHT. 

We were not scared. Just happy. SO, SO, grateful. And happy. 

Right after having Miley it felt like something was missing. She had added so much joy to our family, but I could not shake the strong urge and desire for more. 

We were not planning to have kids this close together, but when it happened it was a happy feeling. ALL was completely well, and within a short time I began to realize and understand this was a part of HIS plan. Not my own. 

Scotlin. Our Scotlin was supposed to be here. And, if he wasn't, we would be trying for him. 

It wasn't long after when the nausea set in. I have to admit I was scared for this part. How could I take care of Miley's needs when I was sick on the sofa all day? I was surprised with how well she was with me. Content to read stories on my lap for hours on end. Happy to snuggle with me, and rest with me. It was precious one on one time I may not have had had I been well.

Miley grew fast, and quickly molded into the leader her disposition was born to be. The organization of our family is divinely inspired. There is no doubt she was to be the oldest in our family. She continued to be patient with me every step of the way.

Scotlin's pregnancy flew by. Before I new it all the timeline markers along the way had passed. Justin had graduated from USU, We moved to Canada, and Miley turned 1 yr old. As soon as we settled in, it was time to welcome our Scotlin baby. He had been missing in action for too long, and it was time to bring him home.


Carrying Scotlin, (and Miley) left me with a torn ligament in my uterus. I was scheduled to be induced a week early. Before entering the hospital for the induction Justin wanted to get a few pictures of 39 week pregnant me in front of the hospital where I was to deliver. I was NOT in the mood for a photo session this particular morning. I remember it taking me a 1/2 hour to walk from the parking lot to the door. I was a S-LLL-OOOO-W moving mamma in so much pain. He reassured me I would thank him for the pics someday. I suppose he was right.
 Induction day was one I will never forget.
Back and forth from the hospital 5 times. Every bounce of the car made me want to vomit. I just wanted to lay down. I wanted the pain to stop. Even for just a minute. But, it didn't. It was the day of never ending pain.

Sometimes it's hard to believe it was only a year ago. It feels like all that happened in the past year could have and would have been easier to manage had it happened in the span of 5 years or more.

But, that is not the way it played out. We were blessed. First, with a beautiful baby girl, and soon after, a precious baby boy. Life is fulfilling and marvelous with these two to love.
Tomorrow my baby boy turns 1 year. I can't describe my feelings for him. How do you describe the brightness of the sun? That is the light he brings to my life. I love this boy, and honestly marvel at what he has taught me without a single word. Scotlin gives me courage. He has given me mounds more patience than I ever thought possible, and expanded my capacity to love far greater than I ever thought my heart could hold. I love my boy.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby. We are so grateful to have been blessed with YOU.